Nisreen85’s Blog











{May 25, 2007}   A sense of emptiness

every thing happening meaningless..& i’m feelin silly,my surrender is silly..my thoughts are silly.

and i don’t feel remorse ..don’t feel happy of course. i don’t wanna cry..don’t want to smile also,just feel silly.

my absurd fills me..it’s a very painfull sense for me..feeling emptiness & lonly.

i feel like there is some thing bleeding in my ..i’m so nervous all the time.. & i never feel satisfied.

i don’t have tears to make me feel better..don’t have some one to blame or to feel comfortable on her-his arms.

in most nights i can’t sleep..just rolling in my bed..embraced pillow..want to scream but couldn’t.
and my sense of narrow grows more..& nothing comes to rest.and whenever filled myself in this life felt more empty..it’s like living in a punched bag whatever you filled it goes empty again.

the sense of emptiness is inside me..i know its inside me.. in my head,in my feelings,in my heart.

my head is empty couse i become afraid of thinking.

my feelings are empty becouse i’m afraid of experiment them.. but i still try to scape my fear & empty.. i’m trying hard.

but i guess i need something to help me continue.. i’m not sure what it is meybe its a great love story or a deep friendship.
i’m not sure what it is but i’m certainly waiting for it.


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